God love Mrs Fenty. Sure she must have the heart put across her with that bold strap Rihanna. If she’s not getting back together with the highly unsuitable Chris Brown then she’s Instagramming her arse for all the Internet to see or flying journalists around the world on a plane filled with diamonds. Not to mention smoking the doobies, Father.  We’ll say nothing more about that, now.

So Mrs Fenty must have been thrilled to see her daughter dressed suitably for a night out in a modest rigout of bomber jacket, backwards baseball cap and some on-trend gold jewellery.

Rihanna wearing a rude hat

Oh. Well. That was until Rihanna turned around – and all was lost.

Sigh. Poor Mrs Fenty.

Spare her (and your mother) a thought the next time you consider purchase of one of the following items, eh?

Mammy would not approve of these slutty items

  1. Creep tee by House of Holland, €70/€83
  2. This handmade Slut bracelet, €6 on Etsy, features vintage acrylic baby pink pearls and letter beads and would make a “Funny Bachelorette Gift,” apparently. Hmm.
  3. If you’ve got £1,200/€1425 to spare and fine jewellery’s your thing, then let Solange Azagury-Partridge help you offend your Mum with this Fuck Off filigree ring in 18ct yellow gold
  4. Want to offend, but on a budget? Sure thing: Etsy has Scrabble-based offence for a mere €14!
  5. Sure why not send your Mam a card, just to rub it all in? This one’s a fiver from Urban Outfitters
  6. The icing on the cake of shock and awwwww, these will cause your dad to clutch at his rosary beads too. What could be more parent petrifying than a pair of ass-cheek revealing short-shorts from American Apparel? Nothing, that’s what. Dov Charney is slobbering as I type. €28 of your excellently wasted cash for these shiny high-waisters, Frillseekers.