You’ve gotta hand it to those Russians: their tampon ads don’t bate about the bush (pardon the pun) with gubbins about Mother Nature or ridiculous made up ‘innovations’ like “Infinicel” – howya Always.

No, no, instead, they tell it like it is. Namely, if you go into the sea minus a Tampax, you might get ate by a great big scharchhhhk.

For maximum effect, please say the last six words of the previous sentence in a strong Cavan accent.