The temptation to call these “kitscher frames” is really strong, so I hope you appreciate my restraint – the bastardisation of words is one of my least favourite new trends (see also: jeggings and, worse, meggings), but it’s really difficult to resist the urge when something so obviously cries out to be combined.

Semantics aside, I have spent a good portion of my adult life (since I turned 23, which I consider to be adult age) searching for decent photo frames that are kitsch but not too kitsch, cheap but not too cheap and, most importantly, the right measurements for the wide variety of prints, photographs, postcards and paintings that I have somehow accumulated.

So it’s only fair that I share my picture-frame finds with you, Frillseeker’s loyal readers, in the hopes that you, too, may some day find the perfect frame for your cast-bronze penis photograph.

1. Pink vintage frame, £9 from Urban Outfitters (above)

I love and hate Urban Outfitters in equal measure. It used to be so, so cool about 10 years ago – we all wanted to work there, and if we couldn’t, we wanted to dress like we did. But in the past five years, as real vintage clothing has got so popular, UO’s brand of fake vintage has got a little, well, clichéd. That said, their homewares department is still great – and this vintage frame is fab, even better from the website where you don’t have to deal with an offensive euro-sterling exchange rate.

Carolyn Donnelly frame for Dunnes stores

2. Floral frame, €15 by Carolyn Donnelly at Dunnes Stores

It’s safe to say that the arrival of Carolyn Donnelly has done wonders for the Irish department store – if you haven’t been into the newly revamped George’s St store (opposite the George’s St Arcade), you should really do yourself a favour and pop in. I love love love her homewares, although honestly I do think some of the bedding is a bit overpriced. The towels in the range are also great – and this picture frame is just on the right side of cutesy. At €15, it’s a bargain to boot!

Heatons frame

3. White antiquey frame, €5 at Heatons

Antiquey is totally a bona fide interiors word. All of the best interiors writers use it. I particularly like this frame from Heatons because I own it, and it was the perfect size for my limited edition Spencer Tunick print what I received when I posed naked on the Bull Wall for four hours (it was not enough by way of compensation, I will tell you that for nothing). I wouldn’t necessarily stick it in a corner of my room with a series of purple and lilac accessories, but that’s just me. Unhelpfully, this frame is not on the Heatons website but I bought it just last week in the Blanchardstown store.

frame from Etsy

4. Teal wooden photo frame, €24 by ArtGlamourSligo

Dodgy shop name aside, this frame perhaps deserves to be in the “nice frames” category, rather than the “kitsch frames” category, but either way it’s really lovely. That teal is one of my favourite colours, and it helps that it’s handmade to order – they can make any custom size up to 40”. Plus, y’know, buy Irish!

Sonic the hedgehog frame

5. Sonic the Hedgehog “Tails” frame, €12.20 by ABeadsCStart

This frame is so amazingly brilliant it’s almost laughable. Made from teeny tiny beads by someone from Derry who obviously has very nimble fingers, it’s beyond kitsch. It’s kind of Japanese kitsch, which is a totally new level of kitsch (almost as kitsch as the Foam Café in Dublin). Honestly, this is the kind of thing – not Twitter, Facebook or the ability to stalk one’s exes – that makes the internet worthwhile.