Patiently I waited for the end of festival season. It came and went.

Then silently I held out for the end of summer. No, still no: hair garlands, daisy chains and all things faux flower remained in strong showing on all the sites I regularly trawl for #frills.

What the eff is going on!? Who, apart from Kirsten Dunst’s stylist, is buying these things? Not me, that’s for sure. And furthermore, while I’ll dubiously (maybe) give you a drunken weekend fling with one at a festival, a long term commitment throughout the winter?

YOU IS CRAZY GIRL, crazy.