I will never forget trying to wash it out in the bath, weeping, retching and clutching my head

We’ve all done terrible things yourhonorsir to our handbags at one point or another: I once got sick into mine in a taxi (it was because of a migraine, honest) and I will never forget trying to wash it out in the bath, weeping, retching and clutching my head, all at the same time. No, the bag didn’t recover. And it was lovely: a white pony skin doctor’s bag with structure and a long cross-body strap, that was unfortunately the end of it.

Bags have a way of showing their disapproval too: we looked at nine recently that were so pissed off with us they couldn’t help but show it. However, every dark cloud has its silver lining; I’ve found seven sacs that are genuinely glad to be called our totealong friends, like that genuinely grinny guy from Debenhams, above, €45. The black bar flapover shoulder bag might be faux leather but there’s nothing fake about the depth of his smile, you feel me?

Aldo Michurin bag

The Aldo Muchurin bag, about €70, is a bit of a simpleton, it’s true. But a good-natured, happy-go-lucky one.

Littlewoods Lipsy bag

This Lipsy bag from Littlewoods Ireland, €57, has had too much to drink, it’s pissed, its eyes are hanging out of its head and it should go home to bed, but not before it tells you just how much it loves you.

Marni bag from the Outnet

This Marni bag from the Outnet, €445, is just so goddamn pleased with life.

River Island black pocket tote

€60’s the damage for this cheeky number from River Island. Are you down with your handbag sticking its tongue out at you? If you’ve got control issues around being in charge, maybe you should pass: this tote will constantly test your boundaries.

Jane Shilton bag from TK Maxx

Jane Shilton’s basket weave red bag at TK Maxx, £19.99, is so happy to see you it even put on its lipstick.

Zara Double Zip Bowling Bag

Squinty eyed it might be, the big grin on this cute Zara double zip bowling bag, €49.95, means it’s a good bet to take down to the pub.