Oh man! King Thranduil of th’elves, you are the best. At eyebrows

As King Thranduil Of The Elves appeared in full and glorious 3D last night during the screening of The Temptations of Smaug, or whatever it’s called, one thing shot into my mind, and even as I was thinking it, Sue leaned over and whispered, “goooooood brows.”

Oh yeah. King Thranduil – Legolas’ dad – might be a douchebag, but he gives good brow, soft skin and sensuous ladylips. 

He is not alone. No: there is a recurring theme of brows throughout the entire production. Dwarven brows. Lowering brows. Monobrows. No brows. Super-groomed brows.

I present them here.

Bilbo Baggins' eyebrows

Martin! we can SEE YOUR BROW POWDER!

King Thranduil

Hiiiya! Will you givvus the name of your HD girl there … ? No? Oh … Ok. 

Legolas' Brows

Legolas has just spotted a band of Orcs. He and his perfectly groomed brows will be back in five.

Legolas' Brows

Look? See? Still perfect. Brow wax, innit?

Azog The Hobbit

Oh, oh I see. Soz for your loz, Azog.

Evangeline Lilly in The Hobbit

Tauriel’s are, as you’d expect from a she-elf (or as myself and Sue like to shorten it, a shelf), spot on.

Weasly city man in The Hobbit

Ah, the humble monobrow. Worn as a visual aide so we know the person is weasly and unreliable; it was good of Liam Gallagher to help us along all those years really, wasn’t it?


And Thorin, son of brow, grandson of brows. This isn’t a look, this is a glower, ably abetted by the caterpillars atop his eyes. He continues this throughout, only in a more … glowery-er way.

There is also one other instance of BROWS! OMG BROWS! which I shall not ruin for you. Suffice to say, go and see the film for yourself and then leave me a commet to let me know if you spotted ’em. If you didn’t, to Specsavers with you.