Unobtanium patch, €1.50, from etsy

I have a strong and lifelong affinity for Terrible Disaster Movies. Himself Indoors sighs theatrically as yet another trip to the cinema is high jacked in favour of my atrocious taste over what he feels are his superior preferences. I don’t know what he is complaining about: I have never, ever tried to get him to watch a rom com. He is BLESSED, Frillseekers. Blessed to have me in his life. 

As a result of my hand-rubbing glee over Terrible Disaster Movies, Things Involving Elves, Volcanoes, Improbable Natural Events, Scenarios and Creatures, I have developed a fondness for made up metals. Viz:

the core cover

Unobtainium

​First seen in The Core, a truly excellent epic about Mother Nature getting her own back on us for global warming by shutting down her electromagnetic fields thus necessitating a journey in a large craft made out of – you guessed it – unobtainium, into her most secret of spaces.

Shaped like a mickey, the unobtainium craft must PENETRATE the earth’s crust, sinking DEEP into the very heart of the earth, in order to kick-start Mother Nature to a SHUDDERING CLIMAX once more. There is absolutely no symbolism or double entendre in this film at all. Also, crows fall out of the sky.

We shall not mention when it was next seen, but I am presuming Sigourney Weaver was either blackmailed or had a really large bill to pay. *cough*Avatar*cough*

Vibranium

Disappointingly, this is what Captain America’s shield is made out of, and not something that they use to make sex toys for superheroes with. I know, right?

Wolverine

Bitta Sudocrem and you’ll be grand

Adamantium

Snickity snick! Wolverine’s basically got a hard-core of this stuff inside of him and when he gets really, really mad, he gets out his Edward Scissorhands, er, hands, and slices shit up. It is never adequately explained how this does not hurt.

I’m pretty sure it’d be crazy sore to have some knives bursting out of your knuckles every time you get into a temper, but hey. Adamatium an explanation if I was him. *boom boom*

These are just three made-up metals. There is, in fact, a whole Wikipedia entry devoted to fictitious ferrous items. It’s a hoot. No, it’s not really – but you can read it here if you like.