Bring on the doughnut detox! 

I think it’s safe to say that 2013 was the year of some truly heinous hair. Hair that gave us plenty of LOLs and opportunities to utter the classic ‘state of yer wan’. So before we embrace the must-have trends of 2014, I’ve decided to bid adieu/wave goodbye/say good riddance to some of the worst and give them a ceremonial send off of sorts. But without the mourning period. 

Miley Cyrus

Now I know she’s more than just a hairstyle, but there was so much wrong with that half buzz cut, half pixie coming of age crop, that we’re awarding the human tongue her own category. And although we can’t say goodbye to the twerking wannabe temptress just yet (c’mon Sinead, we’re counting on you to launch a fresh wave of passive aggressive open lettering!) I’m praying (to Fr. Sinead) that we’ll never have to look at those angry little devil horn topknots or that bizarre interpretation of a punk style as seen at the MET ball, ever again. 

The doughnut

Without sounding really wanky, the topknot it a classic example of what happens when something cool and edgy goes mainstream. And the foamy doughnuts that helped so many achieve the look took on a life of their own. Warning bells first started to go off when they started popping up all over the shop on TOWIE and when it started to look like they’d become part of the Ryanair cabin crew uniform.

But the poster girl for topknots gone bad – and the final nail in the doughnut coffin – has to be Michaella McCollum Connolly of Peru Two infamy.

Bring on the doughnut detox! 

Butchered bangs

To fringe or not to fringe – it’s a question I asked myself a lot during 2013 (I’m a simple gal really) as countless hair heroines like Rose Byrne, Lily Allen and er, Michelle Obama took the plunge and added a fringe to their do.

But, I’d hazard a guess that the question Camilla Belle has asked herself countless times is: “Why the eff did I ever get that bloody fringe?” Too thick, too short and too hard to look at for an extended period of time, Camilla’s hacked off hair do taught us that sometime bad hair happens to good people and that fringes are not for everyone. 

Pity Marion Cotillard didn’t take note

Cartoon hair

The subtle touches of Rainbow Brite inspired hair hues as seen on Sienna Miller, Rachel McAdam and Alexa Chung proved that cartoon hair was a winning trend in 2013. But then the likes of Demi Lovato and Holly from Geordie Shore had to go and get in on the act and ruin cartoon hair for everyone – Demi with her Smurftastic blue bob and Holly’s take on Jessica Rabbit’s titan tresses. 

I appreciate that there’s a world of difference between Sienna, Rachel and Alexa’s tasteful take on the trend and Demi and Holly’s tacky interpretation but unfortunately, I’m forced to condemn cartoon hair to hell. 

Think I’ve missed any clangers? Let me know in the comments!