The Smiley Lamp is new to Maiden, an online – and bricks and mortar – shop that sells lots of pleasantly bonkers stuff, like Ryan Gosling tea towels.

I could take or leave that – SRSLY – but I really want this bundle of fun. It’s £189, it’ll have to be shipped from the UK at, a no doubt extortionate cost, but just think of the hours of glow-based fun we’d have together?

Lots, Frillseekers, lots, in case you’re wondering. About my only problem is my absolute lack of floor space on which to put him. Dang. Foiled again.