Look, Sunday Riley Artemis Hydroactive Cellular Face Oil; indeed I would love to love you like you do me.

But there’s a pillar in my way, you see-heeeee.

And that pillar is this: you stink.

You absolutely completely and utterly reek.

Apparently you are meant to smell of lemon bark and all things nice, but while there’s a very faint hint of that waaaaaay, way down there, what I can mostly get is mouldering straw. Strong, pungent, old mouldy straw.

“This cannot be right,” I thought, when I opened the bottle. “Surely I’ve gotten a dud?” So I Googled. Nope, turns out Artemis is… uniquely scented. I’m no stranger to a strongly-scented oil; it took me a good while to turn my nose off to Trilogy’s rosehip scent, which has quite a bang offa it. Once I had, I never looked back; it’s a brilliant product.

But this is so unpleasant I can’t keep on using it, even though its effects, even after just three or so days, were noticeable in hydrated, smoothened skin. It permeates everything it touches and lingers; I’d have to change pillows and bedsheets daily if I was to carry on using it, not to mention actually train myself to somehow not mind the scent on my skin.

It’s a massive shame. Because I truly would love to love this like it does me, and at over €100 a bottle at Space NK (mine was a pres sample), you kinda expect deliciousness too. But we ain’t breaking these pillars down, I’m afraid.

MASSIVE THX TO THE CORRS, BBZ.